My name is Katherine Windsor and I wanted to share my story.
The question I find myself asking is: was I pregnant? did I really give birth?
My daughter Luna Anne Viglianisi was born 02nd June 2016. She was beautiful she had my nose and lips and her dad’s ears and fingers she was perfect to us. However as each day goes by the pain is still present however the feeling of been pregnant, the side effects and everything that goes with it seems to be fading. I feel like it happened to someone else like I’m part of someone else’s story.
From the moment we found out we were pregnant we started planning our new life hoping to buy a family home.
We had additional scans but we weren’t considered high risk it was more a precaution every appointment was fine with no issues and Luna was growing well. We had our 33 week check up and again all was well it was at 35+5 that I started having contractions we headed to hospital to be told Luna’s heart had stopped. We just sat there, I don’t think we really spoke or cried we just sat there stunned! How does this happen this far in! Our labour was fairly quick which was a blessing however it was after Luna was born that it hit us. I think we were still in denial, part of me hoped and believed she would come out crying. The look on my partners face I will never forget so much love and devastation all at the same time.
We got to spend 3 amazing days with her and got a further 2 weeks to visit in the Chapel of rest these days are a blessing and I try to remember every second I don’t ever want to forget. I have so many positives during this time but so may regrets. We took photos but no videos. Why didn’t we take a video?
It’s been almost 5 months now and it does get easier but the days are still hit and miss. The emotions are still so raw on some days but other days I can smile.
Our results came back a placenta issue, despite been on asprin we still had blood clots in the cord and placenta.
Now we have the results it draws a close to the pregnancy. No more hospitals, no more appointments it’s a closure that I’m not sure I’m ready for yet.
This is it! It really happened, I had a bump, a birth, a baby and yet my life is almost the same. It’s still just the two of us in the house. I can still just get ready and just go out, the invites to weddings and parties are still for two. I walk around the house and its still full of adults things no baby proofing, nappies, toys insight. How is this possible? Was it a dream? Did this really happen?