Sadie and her son with her Pregnancy sickness behind her

Sadie’s pregnancy sickness (HG) and postnatal depression

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Hello, I’m writing to you guys to share my experience of 2 pregnancies one previous and one current. And the truth behind Hyperemesis and PND.

I got pregnant unexpectedly with my first born. I was on the pill and fell pregnant, My sickness started at 7 weeks and went on and on and on until the day my baby boy was here. I was sick every single day sometimes I’d be lucky and it would be 3/4 times a day and that would be it or I would go on from the moment I woke up till late afternoon.

I was hospitalised a few times due to being dehydrated and needing fluids, Cyclizine seemed to help a little but only more so in the hospital having it directly through IV. My sickness was bad and I was very ill throughout I still managed to have a couple of hours each day to have a little break back then it didn’t seem like that but now looking back I’m  thankful I at least had moments where i could have an appetite and feel ok enough to go for a walk. The sickness just stayed with me up until I was in labour it was very draining and frustrating but I tried my hardest to power through it.

They decided to induce me at 37 weeks,  When I was having my son I ended up having a complicated and quite a traumatic labour and birth which has also stayed with me and once he was here I was ok for the morning then by late afternoon throughout the whole night I ended up having more after birth contractions my body was still contracting even though there was nothing left it was the most horrific pain ever, The pain relief they were giving me were not working I was on the highest dosages of morphine and it just would not go. After a bad pregnancy and bad labour and after labour I then get hit with Post Natal Depression.

I just felt betrayed, by who? I don’t know I just could not believe I had been so unlucky I resented my whole pregnancy but never resented my little boy – he is my world and I would not change a thing. I just started finding it hard not being able to or wanting to get up in the morning, Lost interest in so many things.  I had terrible mood swings and many breakdowns where I would cry uncontrollably not knowing what was wrong. I found it hard to accept being a mum it just didn’t come Natural to me at all. Even now I have moments when I feel like i can’t cope and I’m stressed, and don’t feel at all myself but I’d like to think I’m a little bit better at least. After all that I was so adamant that I was not having any more children and not for a while at least the whole thing just petrified me, Then I found out almost 2 years later I am pregnant with my second child and I’m struggling.  I really am.  The sickness started at 5 weeks.  I’m now coming up 13 and still being sick countless of times every day in morning, afternoon and night-time. if I am not being sick I’m not having a break. I feel so nauseous I can’t even move in a certain position the noise makes me feel queasy. I’m so sensitive it’s unreal. I have not been able to do anything. I’ve had to go on the sick because simply  spend probably 70-80 percent of my day being sick. I feel hopeless. I have cried all over again, I’ve begged and begged for someone to help me out of this but right now there seems no way out. They have given me Cyclizine, Ondansetron and one other which dissolves in the mouth. But nothing is working – they come back up every time. I have tried everything and nothing is helping. I’m really struggling this time because I don’t have a break from it. I have a 2 year old which I try to look after whilst I spend majority of time with my head down the toilet. All I want and feel like doing is nothing is resting and trying not to do things to make me sick again but I cant do these things when I have go to entertain my little boy and make his dinner. Clean the house. I feel like a corpse at the moment and just want this pain to end. I wish my partner understood just how tough it is for me. People keep telling me it will ease soon but i feel no hope especially knowing i was like this with my first and all the way through. People keep saying you are lucky you can have kids like as if I’m selfish for moaning and not being happy about the situation. Believe me id love nothing more than to enjoy my pregnancy and properly bond with my baby but i just can’t. Thats 2 Pregnancies ruined for me now. I hope something changes soon. But I really feel for those who suffer with HG its awful and would not wish it on my worst enemy.

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